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Cameron Spivey

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The Green House in the city [Jan. 27th, 2010|12:39 am]
Cameron Spivey
Forget the past
Because moods are always changin'
times are always diff'rent
And all we can really do is forgive and forget
Mischief is healthy, and so are consequences, (I suppose).
Livin'
Livin'
Livin' under shadows
Livin'
Livin'
Livin' in corners
in boxes
of wood
decorated with colorful pictures
and mirrors
and furnished with chairs
chairs with flowers on them
chairs with pull out beds
and turqoise pillows
they stand by book shelves
where all our stuff is.
We're happy.
The three year old,
the young mother,
the waitress who works at a bar,
and me, the drop out barista.
Next semester I'll go back to school
and study the mind
I know I used to say that drawing and designing were important
but they're not.
so I'm gonna go to university
figure out the mind
and then teach.
and say things to younger people to get them thinking.
and if they're already thinking then they might hate me
but that just means the sooner it is for them to come back around and understand.
understand with empathy and compassion.
all you need is love.
love lifts us up where we belong.
cynicism digs you a hole of mud and salt
the point of this really is to say
i live in the green house
in the city
by the school
where the kids leave and graffiti the streets
where snow cone stands outnumber diamond shops
where you'll find the three year old,
the young mother,
the waitress at the bar,
and me, the drop out barista
who plans on going back to school
next semester
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my feet are sore [Dec. 18th, 2008|12:00 am]
Cameron Spivey
I love, love, love how life is going.
i mean, yeah, there are rough parts.
exhaustion
moments where bad choices catch up with me
but generally
all in all
if it were all a summary
life is good.
my job
is one that has changed me.
evolved me.
made me into a leader
and a member of the community
global
local
i dont know how to explain it
because i can question whether or not
it is what i think it is
because we're all so different
i confuse myself
whether it means what it means
because i don't behave the same.
but it means the world.
and my soul
is the true determiner
not a lot of art
paint on canvas
or ink on paper
but it's not needed right now.
i'm seeking community.
people
together
making the better
of what we take for granted.
blood drives
big brother big sisters
saying thank you.
my insides want to give
so
badly
i want the best for all of you
i want the world to find itself
and love itself
and i feel the magic of it happening
as we work together
to see a world
where we feel content.

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(no subject) [Jul. 6th, 2008|12:22 am]
Cameron Spivey
 happy fourth of july!
yes, i know it's the sixth, but the fourth was a lot of fun.  i had people over from work and we just had a good time.
my new place is the bomb, and my roommate, cole, is awesome.  he's from louisiana and has the coolest accent.  i work with him, and yeah, that's that.
this summer is lame, except my new apartment.  i want it to be winter.
i recycled so many things today!  i'm so environmentally savvy, it's awesome.  are you guys friendly to mother earth?  i only drink out of reusable water bottles, i recycle, blah blah blah, eat organic, blah blah.  i just wish i had a hybrid.
my boss, casey, gamme a recliner couch and its soooo comfortable.  and my apartment is awesome looking inside.
did i mention i really like my new place?
the neighborhood reminds me of that one behind main st.  porches, lawn furniture, plants outside, lots of trees, older but nice buildings.  sometimes i'm like sitting in my living room and i'm just like, "OMG- I LOVE IT HERE!"  plus, i have wood floors.
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holler [Jun. 29th, 2008|01:59 am]
Cameron Spivey

about to move into a new apartment.  just got addicted to stickam.  holler at yo boy chad!

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blogggg [Jul. 5th, 2007|01:45 am]
Cameron Spivey

What's new blog people?
I haven't updated in forever.  I added a few posts every once in a while that i eventually deleted because they were negative and crap.  but i've decided to be more possitive. so dont give me any B.S. that's gonna ruin it. ya hear?
...uh, i forgot to take my meds today so my minds a little wacked out.
yeah, i take meds.  kinda weird to know that about me, huh?
today was really awesome/really crappy.
awesome because i woke up and jumped in the pool.  (when typing this i accidently wrote poop the first time.) and i stayed in the pool for the whole day until i had to go to work, and then i worked till 11.  and i had to do the freakin' money stuff and it freaks me out.
dude, i'm so sunburned.  not like, soooo, but like, i am.
tomorrow i have to take my final for biology,  CRAP!  crap sandwich.
and then i start psychology.  which is gonna be awesome, dude. so much better than psych.
next semester i think i'm going to take two art classes because it would be awesome.  ok, so two art classes, a math, and maybe a history?  maybe a speech class or something?  i just need to make my load manageable so that i dont stress out.
so as i just wrote that i imagined the comments some people may leave, one person in particular, and i don't want anyone to comment on my work load, which is being really weird of me, but when i read people being critical of my work load or being like, "oh, i'm sorry your workload's crappy." it makes me want to poke my eye out and throw it at them....
ok, i think i'm going to go to sleep.  it's gettin late.  and i have that test tomorrow.
bye.

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my big black behind [Feb. 25th, 2007|03:01 am]
Cameron Spivey

 

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LOOK! [Feb. 5th, 2007|02:22 am]
Cameron Spivey
[mood |artistic]

I'm in an artsy mood.  I woke up to do my drawing homework, and i've been in a drawing mood all day!

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Compliment [Feb. 3rd, 2007|12:54 am]
Cameron Spivey

I got the nicest compliment from a man I didn't like today.  He said I sounded sincere.  I don't know if I am sincere, though.  I mean, I know right and wrong.  It's easy.  I know to choose right, and more often than not I do.  But there's that other side of me.  I want to do evil.  I want to do evil, I think evil.  My thoughts fixate on a persons weakness, and I have strength.  I play dumb, but I know.

This whole thing (the internet) is too revealing.  I want to exercise and become a stronger body.  But don't look at my fat before I burn off the calories, you know?  I want a privacy that I don't have.  Maybe that's why I came back.  I was too exposed.  Nakedness can be a liberating and shameful thing.  I'd rather be translucent.  I watch.  I do so people say little to nothing.  I'm content and self-conscious, and that's good.  I know it's good.  I know what is good.  Just see me as genuine.

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Clearification [Jan. 19th, 2007|06:38 pm]
Cameron Spivey

It's been a long month.  The rain keeps raining.  The wind keeps blowing.  Some icicles are still frozen.  Things are moving forward, but I have the biggest headache.  My mind keeps pounding.  Over and over and over and over...

School's started.  It's nice to go to school in the metroplex again.  People are familiar.  Places are familiar.  It's good.  But I can tell school is going to be very stressful.  I just printed out the outline of my geology notes online, and it's nearly 50 pages.  There's so much...junk that I need CLEARED.

I've also started a new job at Starbucks. A corporate Starbucks.  The last one I worked at was licensed.  But I've had to go in at 4:30 AM!  It's tough.  I've had to go to bed earlier than normal.  I feel young when I go to work.  But when I come home I feel old and pathetic for not becoming what I wrote about my sophomore year.  I stopped developing, I think.  That's my biggest problem.  I let go of the dream. Hell, I harldy write.  I hardly take pictures, draw, do any kind of that stuff.  This just keep piling on top of each other and enough is enough, you know.  you gotta take off the covers and get out of bed.  i have to remember that the reason for getting out of bed is because i know that after an hour or so, it'll feel better.  probably not as good as it was 2 hours beforehand, but it does feel better.  and theres some kind of hope, i think, that it can turn better than i expected.  it's the state of mind and i have to remember to change, massage the information until it becomes a memory. happiness is momentary, and joy is an entire state... a nation of reoccuring feelings.

I miss the community that I had in nacogdoches.  But I love the family that I have here.  Taking my sisters places and my parents discussing finances.  i mean, this is home.  but this is my last taste of it.  this version, at least.  not sure how to feel, really.

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2007 [Jan. 5th, 2007|03:42 am]
Cameron Spivey
It's been a crazy week.  A lot of junk has happened!  It's turned a new year this week. And some more stuff has happened which I'll discuss later, but before I do, here's a picture of my bedroom:

I have so much crap to do with it.  hang up a mirror, find a table, clean it, and put up pictures on the walls.

OK, well, I started off my New Year with Brittney, Kandace, and Thelma.  It really sucked because someone decided to get drunk on an empty stomach, and we went to a club, and when it turned midnight we decided to leave because club music is lame.  well the drunk person vomited all over the sidewalk, and i tried to put them in my car, but a police officer came over and almost arrested me.  the ride back home was basically us calming down the drunk person who completely told us things they shouldn't have revealed to us.  after dropping this person off, the rest of us decided to go to IHOP, which was actually very fun, although very late, and i was very tired.

Also, I signed up for classes with Kandace, and we have three classes together.  Plus I have a class with chrissy, elyse, and dennise, which is pretty tight.  I've been helping Kandace go all these places because we thought she was going to move in with brittney, but things happened, and she couldn't move in with her anymore.  so the other day kandace and i spent the day looking in the newspaper for places to live around tcc ne, but had no luck.  that night we went to her church and it was awesome because her preacher guy was this crazy, excited person who I really liked.  I also got to play this game where I stuck my foot in a tub of ice.  but the entie day and night we were freaking out because kandace had no place to live.  and that's where this exciting news comes a long!  I told my parents about this, and they said Kandace could live with us for a while until she can save up money for a job or a car, or whatever.  so i have a new housemate!  she's moving in on sat.

i start my new job tomorrow, as well.  it's the starbucks in southlake off whites chapel.  its a little past the southlake townsquare.  it's pretty tite, and the people i've met so far are really nice.  in fact, when i went to check up on my application, i ran into bridget!  she was covering a shift for someone else, but she wasn't working there regularly.  pretty crazy.

well, that's basically everything in my life right now.  BASICALLY.  The internet is a dangerous place, and I don't want to reveal too much because it could start some drama. foreal.
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